funny jokes

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Deadman Walking

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If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

if im breaking eny rules tell me and i'll delete it srry if so :(
 
heres if Iraq were an RTS

With the success of the “What If World War II was a an RTS” we have had others submit ideas to us. If you think you can do better we would like to see more RTS satire … The ground is fertile HYW, WW I, Civil War, Seven Year War whatever strikes your fancy. im getting all of these and more at http://www.strategypage.com


*** buSH has joined #international_diplomacy

buSH: going to rush saddam wanna join.
JacCHrik: noway man not rdy yet wait
coaler: cant join need better gov rating.

buSH: right! You guys are allied with saDDam huh.
JacCHrik: buSH you noob wait we help later.
BuSH: FU I go now

*** JacCHrik has left #international_diplomacy

buSH: LOL. We don't need you cheese eating surrender monkeys! coal, you in? great blitzkrieg area
coaler: nine gov rating to low need to wait.

***coalerhas left #international_diplomacy

*** saDDAm has joined #international_diplomacy

buSH: hey saDy, give us weapons, give us tribute or we invade
saDDam: we got nothing our techtree soks
buSH: ya right we saw you plaster your internal revolt
saDDam: big mistake hit wrong key. no money no tech
buSH: let us send units in to see, share your map with us
SaDDam: right do I Iook stupid, you see what I have then rush me
***SaDDAm left #international_diplomacy

*** buSH has joined channel #unilateralism

#unilateralism:
bagDadBob: we winning buSH soks
buSH: look east, look west, look south, look in the middle your captial.
BagDadBob: WTF where they come from, cheat you haked the game, where you get that hak

***iraq has been eliminated


*** bagDadBob has left the channel.


buSH: awesome we rule mission accomplished!
***buSH cheers
***buSH does a dance


#occupation
****GENgarner has joined #occupation
****GENgarner has left #occupation
****pBremer has joinded #occupation
pBremer: cool I have palaces
*** zarCOWI has joined #occupation

zarCOWI: we have bombs.
pBremer: us too
zarCOWI: we strap ours to women and childern
pBremer: WTF, sh** you crazy
**** pBremer has disconnected
****pBremer has rejoined #occupation
pBremer: d**** power need to get that fixed


***zarCOWI has developed IDE
***US units capture saDDAM
***saDDAM joins prison channel


#press
*** msm has joined #press

msm: look, I found bad pictures gross out. people being tortured I thought this game was rated for everyone need to report to hilliary and company
zarCOWI: buSH soks.
buSH: great now the rating police are going to shut the game down.
 
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